Do You Need a Discernment Divorce Counselor?

Posted by Erin Birt | Feb 14, 2023 | 0 Comments

Illinois is a no-fault divorce state. This means that there is no need for one spouse to prove they were wronged in order to gain a divorce. All the couple needs to show is that there are irreconcilable differences that cannot be repaired. While this can make the process easier and quicker, divorce is a process that stirs up powerful emotions. Our Divorce Attorney, Erin Birt, is trained in Discernment Counseling Protocols and she will assess a client's readiness for divorce or separation and refer her clients to trusted divorce counselors, if needed, to provide clarity on the next steps. Below are some tips for working with a divorce counselor and our divorce attorney.

If you feel you need clarity on your relationship, separation or divorce. Contact us today at (630) 891-2478 for help determining your next steps. 

5 Tips for Divorcing Couples in Illinois

If you or your spouse are ambivalent about separating or getting a divorce, you should meet with our discernment trained divorce attorney, Erin Birt, to assess your readiness for divorce. That assessment and the tips below will help you through the legal process if you determine a separation or divorce is necessary.

1. Aim Toward Using Mediation Instead of Going to Court

Mediation gives couples the ability to co-create a settlement, rather than to rely on a judge, and sets a foundation for future problem-solving together. Your divorce attorney can help organize your divorce to make your mediation time as productive as possible.

2. Put the Well-Being of Your Children as a Top Priority

When you both prioritize your children, it is easier to set petty grievances aside. Divorce is hard on children, but they may feel less stress about their future when they see their parents working together. You will be laying the groundwork for your divorce counselor and lawyer to create an equitable and amicable parenting plan.

3. Learn as Much as Possible About the Divorce Process

You will feel more confident and in control when you are aware of the process ahead. Your divorce attorney will share strategies and processes with you, but you are the ultimate decision-maker.

4. Take Care of Yourself

Divorce can take a toll on even the strongest of individuals. When you take care of yourself, you'll be better able to take care of your children and make better decisions about your future. A divorce or discernment counselor can help you sort out many of the emotions that come with divorce.

5. Honesty is Key

Honesty and accuracy will allow both your counselor and attorney to provide the best help to you and your spouse.

Support and Resources

A divorce is not a good time to isolate yourself. Seek out family and friends who can help and be a shoulder to lean upon. And don't be afraid to seek outside resources for help:

Contact our Discernment Trained Divorce Attorney

If you are in need of additional help to decide if a separation or divorce is the appropriate next step for you and your family, contact us to get help today. You can read more about the benefits of Divorce Counseling and Discernment Counseling on our website and how our team will help if you do decide to divorce. We offer a consultation and planning session to help you plan for divorce. We can also help provide clarity if you reconcile by drafting a post nuptial agreement so both spouses are on the same page going forward. Get help today (630) 891-2478.

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  • She was responsive and gave good counsel.

    What did you value most about working with Erin Birt? She was responsive and gave good counsel. Read On

  • It was overwhelming to me without Erin's help

    I valued how prompt Erin was with everything: every question I had; following up with my submissions; and so on. I also valued her explanation of each step; she was concise and easy to understand, which was invaluable to have with this process, as it was overwhelming to me without Erin's help. I ... Read On

  • Thoughtful and Respectful

    What did I value most about working with Erin Birt? Erin was very skilled communicatively: she listened well, and provided suggestions and/or advice in a thoughtful and respectful manner.   Read On

Recent Case Results

  • Wife desired to have a doctorate in mental health services and relied heavily on her husband to care for their young children while she pursued her career goals. Our client reported that she lost focus on their relationship and likely started to date a fellow student. He did not want to make an issue of the new significant other but he had concerns about having a supportive co-parent and was stressed out about the financial burden of his wife's education, growing children, and increasing extracurricular expenses. Read On

  • Our client was in a very difficult marriage and she was wondering if divorce was the right choice for her and her children. She spent countless hours online trying to research what was best for her and her children. She quickly became overwhelmed with all of the options for parenting time and parenting schedules and tried to turn to family and friends for advice but they were always too busy or minimized her challenges. Read On

  • Our client was an executive at a local corporation and she balanced working full time and raising two children well. Her spouse, however, did not participate much in the rearing of their children and would often isolate himself in the basement rather than spend time with the children or family. The children were struggling with anxiety and issues at school and their father seemed to just check out. The father also worked but he appeared too busy or disinterested to care for the children. To stop the downward trend, our client hired our firm to proactively address the looming divorce. Read On

About the Author

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.


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Family Centered Divorce ∙ Mediation ∙ Co-Parenting

Birt Family Law is the family centered law and mediation practice with a focus on restorative divorce; offering creative and supportive legal and mediation solutions with one goal: keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a peaceful resolution.

We offer multiple options to achieve this goal including mediation, coaching, co-parenting strategies, and restorative divorce services. 

Why We Are the Right Firm For You

Birt Family Law is committed to answering your questions about Family Law and Mediation. We'll gladly discuss your situation with you at your convenience. Contact us today to schedule a free 15 min call.