The Kitchen Table Divorce: How to Divorce Without an Attorney


The Kitchen Table Divorce: How to Divorce Without an Attorney

The kitchen table has long been used as a metaphor. The kitchen table is not just the physical place where we enjoy our everyday meals. It is also used to encompass how we solve daily family issues, such as paying bills, making vacation plans, talking about family health, and much more. Although divorce is not considered an everyday issue, it is a family one. And the kitchen table divorce is becoming a familiar term to describe the process of working out an amicable divorce without litigation.

Granted, this uncontested divorce is not for everyone. Some people have complicated situations; others have too much anger and resentment to be able to sit down and work things out on their own. A kitchen table divorce is possible if you both have simple assets and debts, open lines of communication, the financial and legal knowledge to manage the process on your own, and/or have been separated for a while and have already worked out many of the issues associated with divorce and co-parenting.

Benefits and Risks of a Kitchen Table Divorce

Before moving forward with a “do-it-yourself” divorce, you should weigh the benefits and risks. If you begin the process and then decide it's not for you, you can always call in attorneys or a mediator to pick up where you left off.


  • If there are children, they will see their parents work cooperatively and thus will experience less stress over the divorce.
  • You can work together to reach solutions that work for both of you as a couple rather than being told by a third party how you should move forward.
  • It is less expensive.


  • Your finances might be too complex to reorganize without the strategic help needed to make the best short- and long-term decisions.
  • You could agree to something you'll later regret.
  • The process might bring out emotions that will hinder coming to amiable decisions.

Is a Kitchen Table Divorce A Good Idea?

Divorce is a complicated process, even under the best circumstances, especially with dual-income parents and dual-income divorce. Without the advice of an attorney or the help of a divorce mediator, there is the possibility of unexpected repercussions that might be unrealized until well after the divorce. And, once the divorce is finalized, it is not easy to change that final judgment.

Despite how appealing a kitchen-table divorce might seem, it is in the best interest of both parties to have the financial and legal guidance needed to make sound decisions. Kitchen table conversation is a good place to start and work out the big picture. If you and your spouse agree on important issues, you can work with our divorce mediator to iron out the details. After all, a divorce is a lawsuit and contract, even if you and your spouse are on friendly terms.

Read more about the tips and tools for a successful Kitchen Table Divorce here.

Birt Law and Mediation

Unfortunately, with a kitchen table divorce, you may not even know what you don't know. Using a combination of kitchen table conversation, divorce mediation, an/or an uncontested divorce attorney will ensure you and your spouse can move into the future securely knowing all bases were covered.

If you and your spouse think a kitchen table divorce is viable, seeking the help of a divorce professional does not have to complicate the process. Mediation has many of the same qualities as a kitchen table divorce. The process is still one of talking around a table and coming to mutual agreements and decisions in a nonadversarial way. Divorce Mediation keeps you out of court, one of the most important benefits of kitchen table divorces, and it can help you resolve whatever you haven't agreed on.

If you have already worked out your kitchen table divorce or used a divorce mediator, it is still to your advantage to use an uncontested divorce attorney after mediation to review the agreements before it is processed by the court. Birt Law offers both in-person and online mediation and uncontested divorce services. Whether you are at the beginning stages of kitchen table conversations or think you already have everything squared away, we can help tie up any loose ends. To learn more about our services and how to move forward, give Birt Law a call at (630) 891-2478.

If you prefer one on one help or just need an uncontested divorce attorney to finish your kitchen table divorce, book a free 15 min intro call by contacting our staff by phone or submitting your information via our Contact Form.

Recent Case Results

  • In a challenging divorce, Attorney Erin Birt resolved parenting conflicts for the best interests of a teen daughter. Mother Sarah was concerned about father John's disinterest, while John felt Sarah was controlling. Erin, serving as GAL (Guardian ad Litem), utilized mediation skills and investigation protocols to prioritize the teen's well-being, prevent litigation, and repair co-parenting harmony. Read On

  • Successfully resolved custody dispute for a child with a first responder father and full time working mother, prioritizing child's well-being and fostering co-parenting harmony. Read On

  • In the face of financial turmoil due to her husband's gambling addiction, a young mother sought to relocate with her children for family support. With strategic negotiation, a divorce attorney secured their move while preserving father-child bonds, all while keeping costs low and achieving client satisfaction. Read On

Family Centered Divorce ∙ Mediation ∙ Co-Parenting

Birt Family Law is the family centered law and mediation practice with a focus on Restorative Divorce; offering creative and supportive legal and mediation solutions with one goal: keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.

We offer multiple options to achieve this goal including mediation, coaching, co-parenting strategies, and restorative divorce services. 

Are we the right fit for you?

Birt Family Law is committed to keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.