Considering a Divorce After the Holidays?

Posted by Erin Birt | Dec 21, 2022 | 0 Comments

Considering a Divorce After the Holidays?

Our true feelings toward family members tend to surface around the holidays, as this is when spouses and other relatives spend more time together. Time with the family can often spur cohesion, yet it also has the potential to lead to drama and dissolution.

If you are considering a divorce after spending more time with your loved ones during the holiday season, you are not alone. Here's how to move forward with some options for what to do and what not to do when considering a divorce after the holidays.

Choose Mediation

Divorce has the potential to be destructively dramatic, especially if one spouse is abusive, has been unfaithful, or becomes vitriolic for other reasons. Instead of immediately segueing to formal divorce litigation through the family court system, consider the merits of mediation.

Divorce mediation places both spouses in front of a mediator for a constructive dialogue guided by an objective third party. The aim of divorce mediation is to reach a mutually beneficial agreement that fairly distributes:

  • Property
  • Assets
  • Child custody/visiting rights
  • Debts

Mediation ultimately saves you and your spouse money and time. Our Chicagoland divorce mediation specialists are here to guide you through the process for a happy ending to what has been a tumultuous marriage. 

Choose Divorce Planning

Divorce planning is highlighted by proactive preparation rather than spontaneous action spurred by emotion. Recognize that divorce is not a DIY (do it yourself) process. Tap into the expertise of an experienced Chicagoland divorce attorney, and you'll have a plan in place for an amicable split that proves mutually beneficial to all parties.

Comprehensive divorce planning in Chicagoland also includes assistance from a financial advisor who helps pave a path toward both spouses' financial success across posterity. It's never too early to start working with our team to help you decide what is best, organize your finances, explore what schedule is best for your children, or simply to receive referrals to discernment counselors or other professionals that can help you with this very important decision.

Choose a Collaborative Interdisciplinary Team Divorce Process

Opt for a collaborative, team-oriented approach to the divorce process, and you'll benefit from expert guidance characterized by dignity, rationality, and logic. Choose the collaborative interdisciplinary approach, and the needs and desires of all parties relevant to the divorce, including the kids, will be accounted for.

The following parties work in unison through the collaborative team approach to progress toward a mutually beneficial outcome:

  • Spouses
  • Divorce Coaches
  • Divorce attorneys
  • Child specialists
  • Financial professionals

Regardless of whether you are coparents and not married, older with adult children, or a same-sex couple with or without children, the collaborative divorce process empowers you to civilly negotiate divorce terms through constructive dialogue and negotiation, ultimately bypassing unnecessary drama and the delayed court system that lacks time to address important details of your personal life.

Divorce Litigation Might Not Be the Best Option

An immediate jump into divorce litigation isn't always the best route. Litigation is generally considered a last resort for instances when spouses cannot determine how to resolve their marital problems.

Litigation requires formal legal action including formally serving your spouse with divorce papers, attending court hearings, and other formalities. Such legal hurdles have the potential to prove time-consuming, chewing up a year's time or longer. Furthermore, there is also the potential that a family court judge might not rule in your favor regarding the division of property, alimony, child support, etc.

The Scorched Earth Approach is a Mistake

Though it is tempting to go “scorched earth” on your spouse by sabotaging them and generally wreaking havoc as a form of revenge, doing so is an immature response to a complex problem. Remain civil, keep a level head and think logically as opposed to emotionally. If you are tempted to lash out at your spouse, take deep breaths, create physical space between the two of you, and dive headfirst into reading material centered on developing emotional intelligence.

Do Not Cope With Alcohol or Drugs

The worst thing you can do after deciding to divorce your spouse is to resort to self-numbing through alcohol, drugs, or binge eating. Resist the temptation to drown your sorrows, be proactive by addressing the conflict head-on with the assistance of a Chicagoland divorce attorney, and you'll soon turn the page to a new chapter in your life.

Contact Our Chicagoland Divorce Attorney & Mediator Today

If you are considering a divorce after the holidays, don't let the dysfunction linger, hoping it will eventually work itself out. Even if you make a personal change for the betterment of the relationship, your spouse might not reciprocate. We can help you determine if reconciliation or divorce is in the best interest of you or your family. We often work with clients that don't yet know what to do and we help build their supportive team whether they ultimately divorce or reconcile. 

Our Chicagoland divorce attorney is here to help you transition to a better tomorrow. Reach out to us today at 630-891-2478 to find out more about how we can help you gracefully end your marriage or explore your options.

About the Author

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.


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Birt Family Law is the family centered law and mediation practice with a focus on Restorative Divorce; offering creative and supportive legal and mediation solutions with one goal: keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.

We offer multiple options to achieve this goal including mediation, coaching, co-parenting strategies, and Restorative Divorce services. 

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