Why Neutrality Matters in High-Conflict Parenting Cases
September 2025
Why a Neutral Parenting Coordinator Matters in High-Conflict Parenting Cases
Starting Services Without Agreement Can Harm the Process
The Client's Core Question:
“Why can't the parenting coordinator just start if one parent is ready?”
In a high-conflict parenting coordination referral, one parent wanted to proceed immediately while the other refused to sign the service agreement or provide a retainer. The attorneys started preparing motions and advancing arguments about the behaviors of the other parent. Unfortunately, the issue of just starting the parenting coordination process, despite a court order for a parent coordinator, became the main focus of the coparents and the professionals.
Practitioner Approach:
I upheld parenting coordination best practices: neutrality requires consent, clarity, and structure. Beginning without agreement would have compromised fairness and trust. As a parenting coordinator, I do not start services without a service agreement, a fee paid by both parties, and a screening of the parties and issues to ensure my role is helpful and the parties understand my role.
“Protecting neutrality from the outset ensures high-conflict families receive calm, ethical, and effective guidance when they need it most.” ~Erin Birt, Parenting Coordinator, Mediator & Attorney
Value Provided:
By holding firm boundaries, the integrity of the process was protected, reinforcing that ethical and effective parenting coordination services begins with mutual consent.
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Stories are anonymized composites drawn from real themes present in our cases over the past six months. They are shared for educational purposes only. Results vary. This is not legal advice.
Practice area(s): Divorce / Separation
Court: DuPage County
