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Why Neutrality Matters in High-Conflict Parenting Cases

September 2025

Why a Neutral Parenting Coordinator Matters in High-Conflict Parenting Cases

Erin Birt, family law mediator and attorney, wearing a teal blazer and smiling confidently in a professional setting
Erin Birt, Mediator & Attorney

Starting Services Without Agreement Can Harm the Process

The Client's Core Question:
“Why can't the parenting coordinator just start if one parent is ready?”

In a high-conflict parenting coordination referral, one parent wanted to proceed immediately while the other refused to sign the service agreement or provide a retainer. The attorneys started preparing motions and advancing arguments about the behaviors of the other parent. Unfortunately, the issue of just starting the parenting coordination process, despite a court order for a parent coordinator, became the main focus of the coparents and the professionals.

Practitioner Approach:
I upheld parenting coordination best practices: neutrality requires consent, clarity, and structure. Beginning without agreement would have compromised fairness and trust. As a parenting coordinator, I do not start services without a service agreement, a fee paid by both parties, and a screening of the parties and issues to ensure my role is helpful and the parties understand my role. 

“Protecting neutrality from the outset ensures high-conflict families receive calm, ethical, and effective guidance when they need it most.” ~Erin Birt, Parenting Coordinator, Mediator & Attorney

Value Provided:
By holding firm boundaries, the integrity of the process was protected, reinforcing that ethical and effective parenting coordination services begins with mutual consent.

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Stories are anonymized composites drawn from real themes present in our cases over the past six months. They are shared for educational purposes only. Results vary. This is not legal advice.

Practice area(s): Divorce / Separation

Court: DuPage County

Erin Birt

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.

Protecting Your Children’s Future Starts Here

With 20+ years of courtroom and Guardian ad Litem experience, I understand how court decisions are made, what judges consider, and where the process often breaks down for families. My work focuses on helping parents avoid unnecessary court conflict whenever possible to minimize harm to children.

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We work with parents in two ways:

Individually, when one parent is seeking answers and legal guidance.
Together, when both parents are ready to resolve matters through mediation.

Both options are structured so you’re not waiting on the court system for next steps.

Are we the right fit for you?

Birt Family Law is committed to keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.

The Law Firm of Erin N. Birt, P.C. (Birt Family Law)
The Law Firm of Erin N. Birt, P.C. (Birt Family Law)
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