Advice On Divorce From Those Who Know

Posted by Erin Birt | Oct 09, 2015 | 0 Comments

The HuffPost Divorce page recently presented advice from readers/bloggers on how they made their divorce process and co-parenting situations a bit easier to handle. These are all fairly simple suggestions, yet they can create amazingly beneficial results. This post will reveal the best advice on divorce –from those who know.

The best advice on divorce –from those who know

Here is a quick rundown of the tips from the article, “7 Small Things That Can Make Divorce A Little Less Stressful.”

  • KEEP METICULOUS RECORDS – Your divorce attorney will constantly remind you how important this is, especially for child and spousal support One single dad, Jon Vaughan, had so much trouble with this he created Genesis CCM, “a free child custody manager for divorced parents that allows them to keep better records of shared expenses and visitation using any mobile device with Internet access.”

  • USE EMAIL – You find it really hard to talk with your soon-to-be ex-partner but need to share information on kid issues, meeting times, etc. Instead of calling, pull up email to ensure on-going communication. Author Monique Honaman uses something called H.E.A.R. emails that only discuss the children's Health, Education, Activities, and Reinforcement of Discipline.

  • RE-NAME YOUR EX – No, they're not talking about anything derogatory. The advice from divorced mom Lisa Dubino is to change your ex's name to “co-parent” in your cell phone. Dubino says it shifts the focus to your children and helps you view each other as partners in parenting rather than as enemies.

  • CONSIDER THERAPY FOR YOUR KIDS – Laura Lifshitz, a writer and comedian, used play therapy to help her four-year-old daughter work out her feelings about mom and dad's divorce. The therapist even helps Laura and her ex to be better co-parents.

  • CLEAN HOUSE – This isn't a trick to manage stress. It's removing anything in your house–clothes, pictures, knick-knacks–that remind you of a marriage that didn't work. Writer Katherine Forsythe says you have to be tough on yourself but it will open up space for the new you, literally and figuratively.

  • BE GRATEFUL – Blogger Shelley Wetton continuously thanks her son's step-mom for the love and care she provides. In this way, she's creating a cohesive parenting team of blended families that can work together for the good of the children involved.

  • TRY DIVORCE MEDIATION – In the case of journalist Emma Johnson, her ex-husband's therapist invited Emma to join one of their sessions. However, there are now many attorneys trained in family mediation, collaborative law and divorce planningwho can remain impartial while helping clients reach solutions that work for everyone involved.

I'm trained in Illinois Collaborative Divorce Law and have helped hundreds of clients to amicably work through their divorce and co-parenting issues. Contact me to learn what I can do for you. After over 15 years of divorce experience in Illinois, contact us to learn our best advice on divorce — from those that know like our Illinois Divorce Attorney Erin Birt.

About the Author

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.


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