3 Reasons To Use Mediation In An Unwanted Divorce

Posted by Erin Birt | Mar 20, 2015 | 0 Comments

There are many reasons why it happens, but sometimes a spouse chooses to end a marriage with little or no warning to their significant other. For the unsuspecting party who didn't see it coming, this sudden life change can leave that person shocked, angry and depressed–often meaning they have no intention of cooperating with the person who turned their world upside down. Yet even in this extremely difficult situation, divorce mediation is worth the effort of overcoming those challenging emotions. From an article by divorce mediator Joseph Dillon, here are three compelling reasons to participate in Mediation In An Unwanted Divorce.

  1. IT CAN AVOID LENGTHY DIVORCE LITIGATION – Dillon describes how one client (the spouse who walked away from the marriage) wanted to keep things civil and waited a long time for the other party to accept the situation and come to mediation. When that didn't happen, they felt “they had no choice but to get an attorney and file.” In the end, it cost them a great deal of money and years of litigation that might have been avoided.

  2. YOU'LL POTENTIALLY REDUCE EMOTIONAL SCARS – It's difficult to accept that your spouse no longer wants to be married to you. However, if that person wants a divorce then there's going to be a divorce, says Dillon. How you deal with it will determine the overall effects it has on you (and any of your children). Participating in divorce mediation could make it easier for everyone involved in both the short- and long-term.

  3. YOU'RE INVOLVED IN KEY DECISIONS – Rather than leaving things to a judge, divorce mediation gives you the opportunity to push for positive outcomes on things like support or debt issues that could impact you and any children. Dillon believes it's likely “you'll be able to recover quicker as you won't feel so powerless since you had a hand in your agreement.”

While you didn't have a say in getting the divorce, you can have a say in how you go forward by participating in divorce mediation. And if the person who walked away doesn't initiate the mediation, take back more control and arrange for it yourself.

Whether you need divorce mediation, collaborative divorce services, or assistance with Illinois child visitation and child custody issues, I can help. Contact me for more information.

Book a Joint Orientation Call
Click to Schedule an Appointment

About the Author

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.


There are no comments for this post. Be the first and Add your Comment below.

Leave a Comment

Family Centered Divorce ∙ Mediation ∙ Co-Parenting

Birt Family Law is the family centered law and mediation practice with a focus on Restorative Divorce; offering creative and supportive legal and mediation solutions with one goal: keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.

We offer multiple options to achieve this goal including mediation, coaching, co-parenting strategies, and Restorative Divorce services. 

Are we the right fit for you?

Birt Family Law is committed to keeping the separating family out of court and working together towards a positive resolution.