New Beginnings?

Posted by Erin Birt | Jan 05, 2011 | 2 Comments

The holidays are over.  While the holiday season is one of joy, anticipation, excitement, etc., it is also a time of stress for some.  Many people take time during the holidays to analyze what they want in life and how they are going to alleviate stress and change.  Many people come to the conclusion that their marriage is over or a parenting agreement needs to be modified as soon as possible. Once this decision is made, it is common to wait for the holidays to be over to discuss the issue with their spouse. This post will focus on New Beginnings.

So what is the next step?

It is always wise to discuss the option of marital counseling.  Serious thought and consideration went into the decision to marry and same should be true for ending a marriage.  Counseling may help open the lines of communication which can lead to a renewed commitment to working on the marriage.  Counseling can also help couples determine if it divorce or separation is the best option.  If needed, talk to the counselor or therapist about developing a plan re: informing the children.

Before you rush to the courthouse to file a petition for dissolution of marriage; talk to your spouse about mediation and/or collaborative divorce.  You do not have to have a pending case to mediate or collaborate.  Courts like to see couples trying to settle matters before asking the court for assistance.  Mediation and/or collaboration could help you resolve all issues, some issues, or, at least, identify the issues that have to be litigated.  This saves time, money, and heartache.

If you plan to initiate proceedings in January, understand you will have certain unique issues to work on such as feelings of distrust, confusion, anger.  Understand your spouse may interpret your actions during the holidays and immediately after the holidays differently than you had intended.  Realize the divorce process may take longer if feelings of dishonesty or lack of trust are now present.

Contact us to discuss your New Beginnings and how to protect yourself with Illinois Divorce law and representation by our firm.

Schedule a Consultation with Attorney Erin Birt

About the Author

Erin Birt

Since 2003, Erin N. Birt, J.D., CADC has focused her practice on parenting time, divorce, mediation, and substance abuse issues. Ms. Birt's unique background in both family law and addictions counseling help her clients successfully navigate the complex issues of coparenting and divorce. Ms. Birt also devotes her time to presenting at continuing education seminars for attorneys, mediators, and counselors.


Christopher SmithReply

Posted Jul 08, 2023 at 00:44:26

Only when you are more concerned about what you can do for the other person than what you can get out of a relationship with that person will you have a successful and happy marriage. As a matter of full disclosure, my wife and I are perfectly matched in our respective second marriage. Funny, our experience appears to be the same for our first (round in stupid and immature decisions to marry) spouses respectively.

Erin Birt Reply

Posted Jul 13, 2023 at 17:43:25

Sounds like you have reflected well on your past to make your future better. We wish you all the best.

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